Cultural Identity Essay

    I grew up in the Netherlands and lived there until I was 17 years old. At the time of this essay, I am 45 years old, and my old country looks a lot different now than it did when I lived there. I have not been back since I left in 1993. Growing up, there were a few immigrants in my school from North Africa or the Middle East. As time went on, more immigrants arrived in the Netherlands. When I was younger, I remember being in a classroom with almost everyone looking and sounding like I did, but as I changed, so did my surroundings. My parents were very inclusive, and we had neighbors of different backgrounds and nationalities in our home all the time. It was not strange for me to see people from different countries and backgrounds talking and interacting with my parents. My dad had a really good job, and we were well off. As I grew up, his status in his company grew, and we made more money and could afford nicer things. My parents did not flaunt their wealth, and so I never knew how much we had until I was a lot older. I had friends who grew up with nothing, and friends whose parents were very rich; we all got along. Emphasis was never on money or status in my family, and so I never placed it on them either.

    My parents converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and so we were in the minority when it came to religion. Growing up, we probably had about 5000 people in the entire country who were members of our church. I was the only “Mormon” at my elementary school, middle school, and high school. It was hard as people didn’t know what kind of religion we practiced, and so I was ostracized a lot growing up. As of 2022, I am still a member of this church and have found my own path in practicing this religion. Growing up in the 80’s I never thought too much about gender identity and sexual orientation. Europe is a liberal continent when it comes to identity, and so it was normal to see all types of people around me. I was raised to respect everyone, even if they were different from me, and so that has never been a problem. My oldest daughter came out to me as bisexual when she was 16 years old, and I was able to understand her and love her because of the way I was raised. Her father was born and raised in Orem, Utah, and so he had a completely different view on how he should react, and so he did.

    I moved to America when I was 17 and have lived here ever since. I have unfortunately not been able to go back to Europe since then, but I hope to one day soon. I got married here when I was 23 and was in an abusive marriage for 20 years. I divorced in 2019, and I am finally able to be myself again. I was manipulated into thinking and acting differently than when I had been raised, and unfortunately raised my kids with less tolerance than I had grown up with. My oldest daughter is very tolerant as she belongs to the LGBTQ+ community, and I am glad I did not mess her up completely. Unfortunately, my other daughter takes after her father and is not as tolerant of differences. My life for 20 years did not match what I had been raised to believe, and I am working hard to change back to the person I was before that. As a child, I was able to travel a lot all over Europe since my parents made good money. I have seen so many different places and enjoyed so many different cultures that I want to go back and experience it all over again. While I was married, I was not able to travel at all and had lost myself for a long time. Since my divorce, I have put many miles on my car and have seen places I have been waiting to see. I took a cruise and have plans for many more trips as soon as Covid allows it.

    I have lots of family in the Netherlands and Australia, and I am dying to visit them again. I work full-time now and go to school full-time, so I don’t have a lot of time for friends. My ex-husband never allowed for friends, and so I have slowly been making new relationships, mainly with co-workers. I work in the education field, and so most of my friends are also extremely busy and don’t make a lot of money to travel either. I have an older sister whom I am travelling with as she is divorced as well, and we make a lot of good new memories together. I grew up in the Netherlands and served a mission for my church in Finland. The experiences I had there have definitely made me into the person I am today. My tolerance for all things is different, and my acceptance of all comes from living in those places. I embrace diversity and think it is a very important part of life. Since I still have family in the Netherlands and Australia, I believe that it is keeping me connected in a sense with a different culture. I see what my family and friends post on their Facebook accounts in those countries and can experience some facets of their lives this way.

Currently, I am a history and political science major and love to read and learn new things. I am constantly looking forward to seeing what is happening all over the world. Reading is one of my passions, and I love reading biographies to see how others grow up. I have read many books about people who have escaped communist China or the Taliban in the Middle East. The more I read, the more I can empathize with others around me and know that I am not the only one who may have a hard day or year. I have many places I want to travel to on my bucket list. When I graduate with my degree, I want to visit Machu Picchu. It is scary for me as I have never traveled out of the country by myself, and I don’t speak Spanish. I am trying to learn Spanish so that it won’t be so scary, and hopefully, I will have some more experience with traveling alone when the time comes. Mount Fuji is another place I want to see in my lifetime, and I would also love to walk the streets of Paris and Venice again. I could name a million other places and things I want to experience, and hopefully, I can cross some of my lists soon.

[Written for GEOG 130G class UVU Spring 2022]
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